goldenkirbichu: (the sky)
Golden ([personal profile] goldenkirbichu) wrote2012-05-24 12:56 am

Let's Play With No Foreknowledge: Chrono Trigger! Part 1 of Who Knows.

So, ages back I figured I would try something like this.

Thus, with no warning, I have randomly decided to begin my Chrono Trigger Let's Play! With no foreknowledge, of course.

Expect a ton of tl;dr!

What the hell is Chrono Trigger anyway?

... Honestly, the amount I know about Chrono Trigger could fit on the head of a pin. All I know about it - literally - is that it's a popular cult-favourite JRPG that has something to do with time travelling.

Yep. That's all. And this is how I'm going into the game, folks! With no foreknowledge. 8D Expect me to just... brutally suck at everything.

Also expect me to be kind of OCD because that's... me.

ANYWAY. On with the show!


The title screen immediately seems promising, albeit slightly foreboding. Also obvious clock themes right away, though you'd really have to be dumb not to see that coming what with the "Chrono" in the title. But what's the "Trigger" gonna mean... (Terribly, I'm seeing some kind of gun that shoots time, though I know that's not even close. That would just be silly.)

There's also a cutscene that plays if you let it run. Here's one from somebody's conveniently-recorded Youtube channel.

... Yeah, no, that didn't make any sense to me. The only thing I got out of that was "floating islands? :|a" and "hey a steampunk Biolizard!" And that rainbow frogs can fall out of the sky and kill everything. And that stuff tends to explode.

... Let's hope that all gets cleared up later! Aaaanyway...

The next screens aren't particularly important enough to warrant screenshots, though I'll describe them anyway...

The first one allows me to choose whether or not I want a more real-time or turn-based experience. Because I suck utter monkey balls at real-time stuff I obviously go for the turn-based choice. Seriously, I will die every five minutes otherwise.

The second screen is the naming screen. Default name is "Crono" which is silly. Where's the h? Can you not fit it? (On actual attempt it seems that, no, you cannot. Which renders "Golden" similarly unusable.) Usually I'd go for some utterly ridiculous name like "Douche" but I'm feeling nice this time so why not stick with the default?

Once I've entered my name, I get treated to a nice intro cutscene of some pretty ocean coastline. And... an exploding city? ... Oh, wait, never mind, those are just balloons or something.

Oh hey, dialogue!

Good morning, Crono!"

Well what if I don't want to? :|

But it's nice to know that even RPG protagonists' parents can be helpful sometimes, instead of just dying in five minutes. (Though I still entirely expect this to happen, but maybe I'm jaded.)

"MOM: Ah, Leene's Bell makes such beautiful music!"

So is that what the background theme is supposed to be?

"MOM: You were so excited about the Millennial Fair that you didn't sleep well, did you...?"

If Crono is anything like me, actually, then he probably just sucks at sleeping period. Also, what the hell is a Millennial Fair?

I'm betting she knows something about this kid that I don't.

"MOM: Let's get moving, now!"

And then Crono gets out of bed and fistpumps for no reason.

Okay, now I can officially control everything! As is standard for any RPG, I start hitting as many buttons as I can, like a gigantic idiot. X seems to open a menu full of various things - unfortunately, because I'm a moron at this game I have no idea what most of it means.

The first page in question seems to be a stats screen. Here it's displaying what the main character dude - Crono - has in the way of stats at this moment. Understandably, he sucks monkey balls at everything, though 70 HP seems a little high for a lv. 1 character...

In the interests of completionism, here are his stats.

I have no idea what any of it means, though I presume Lightning is his general element, Speed will decide how quickly he moves, Evade will decide how often he gets punched in the face as opposed to dodging it like a boss, and Magic Defense will decide how much it hurts when something throws a fireball at him. The rest of it I am utterly baffled by. What kind of a stat is "Hit"?

Also, get a load of the crappy starter weapons. Did he sleep with the sword strapped to him or what?

Inspecting the rest of the screens reveals they're empty. Also, I can't seem to save yet. Good thing I'm abusing save states to get around that particular problem! (Though I'll try not to actually save state when I couldn't save normally, but I don't want to lose my entire file just because my .srm craps out on me. 8|)

Aaaaanyway. Moving right along now!

The next thing to do is explore the room. I walk around and summarily try to talk to everything. It fails, although I discover I can walk in a diagonal, which is pretty cool!

I guess I should exit this room now though. So I walk down the stairs and head to the first floor of the house... only to find MOM standing there like something right out of a Pokémon game.

"MOM: Finally!
By the way, that inventor friend of yours...
Uh... you know...!
Oh, dear, I've forgotten her name!"

What is with everybody forgetting the names of everybody important in an RPG? Sheesh.

Everybody say hi to the second named-so-she's-obviously-important character, "Lucca"! (I don't feel like bothering to change her name, so I'm keeping it the default.) Incidentally, her sprite looks silly and reminds me a lot of Bulma from Dragonball Z. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

"MOM: That's right, Lucca!
Don't forget that she invited you to see her new invention!"

Who wants to bet that invention is gonna be plot-important?

"MOM: Run along now, and be back before dinner."

Who wants to bet that won't happen either?

And then she immediately goes off to do some scripted thing in the kitchen. IDK what that is, dancing in front of the sink? Interacting with the cat makes it meow and follow me around which is cute. Because I can't leave well enough alone, though, I go over to Mom again and chat her up a second time.

"MOM: Oh, I almost forgot!
Here's your allowance, dear!
Have fun at the fair!"

And I just got 200 G. Score! I'm assuming G means gold or something.

Further interrogation of the parental unit leads to absolutely nothing, so I guess I'm done here. Time to go see whatever the hell the fair is!

Oh look, an overworld screen! Don't think I didn't notice that 1000 A.D. in the corner, either. I'm certain that'll be relevant later.

I just emerged from Crono's House, as the map helpfully informs me. Nearby there are several Residences, as well as a market, an inn, and the Mayor's Office. I can even walk down the pier and stare longingly at the tugboat that I obviously can't board yet!

Because I'm an asshole I'm going to just do everything except what I'm supposed to do.

Oh, hey, nice house you got here, Blondie. Lemme try chatting you up.

"Hard to believe Guardia is now 1000 years old, and our King is the XXXIII descendant to the throne!"

Hard to believe indeed. How the hell do you, a random citizen, know that exactly? Is it public knowledge? And who the hell bothered to trace it that far back?

"But how can he rule a kingdom when he can't even control his own daughter?!"


Moving right along into the next house. This has two people to antagonize!

I'll talk to the guy on the right first.

Dude McGuy: "That brat, Lucca, says she's made the discovery of a lifetime."

Newsflash, Dude. That happens pretty much all the time in games like this... you don't see people discovering Insignificant Crap That Never Becomes Useful in these kinds of things, do you?

And then the lady. Oh boy, the lady.

... Ooookay then. Right.

I'll just... go over here now.

(Incidentally, it appears you can actually walk away from people mid-conversation without dropping the window, as this proves.)

Entering the market just gets me a conversation with this little fluffy thing on the stall's counter. "Visit our stall in Leene Square!" it says. That'd be all fine and dandy if I knew where the fuck that was!

Next on our whirlwind tour of the area is the Mayor's Manor. It is huge and I am not screenshotting every inch of it because I am lazy. Also there are a damn lot of people to talk to, so I'd better get moving.

I first get Crono to talk to the lady near the door.

Door Lady: "Hi.
Do you know about our establishment?

> No

It's the dreaded bifurcating dialogue path! Clearly I'm going to have to pick both options if I can... but I pick "no" first because, no, I don't.

"This is the Mayor's Education Center. Think of it as a workshop for beginners!
You can take the things you find here!"

Aha, so it's a training ground for burgeoning kleptomaniacs. Very nice! I will obviously be stealing everything I find here.

... And picking "yes" just closes the dialogue tree altogether. Bah. Oh well, onto the next lady!

This second lady deals with Weapons and Items, apparently. Hmm, okay. I'll listen to your Weapons and Items seminar, lady...

"Weapons include swords, bows, and guns."

One of these things is definitely not like the others.

"You'll find a variety of armor for the head and body."

But presumably none for other body parts? Also, I like how it's the head as opposed to your head.

"As you gain Power, swords will inflict greater damage. Bows and guns get more powerful as your Hit rate increases."

Oh, okay, so that's what that stat is for!

Also, according to this one guy I can use a Shelter at a save point to restore HP and MP. Is a Shelter an item or a place, I wonder...

In the corner of this area there's a cluster of sparkles. Seems that's where I'm allowed to save in this game - everything else is nope.avi. (Incidentally, there's so much dialogue now that I'm just going to gloss over most of it unless it's really important or funny... but I'm gonna read it anyway. :'D)

Moving onto the top floor...

Oh, what the hell is this? A slumber party? 8|

If it is, it's the rockingest slumber party ever. Looks like everybody here is a tutorial character...

The first person I talk to, the knight, demonstrates Skills to me. From what I'm getting, this is a demonstration of the effective ranges of various attacks. Good to know for when I, y'know, actually get around to killing anything...

The second guy, blondie with the cane, tells me about Techniques, which are apparently Skills combined with weapons. When I bug him again, he gives me 300 G. Awesome.

The third guy, brown-haired guy, gives me some miscellaneous info. I can run with L and R, huh? I don't think I'll be using that too much... Also, apparently, a star after any characteristic means it's at maximum strength. I'll be sure to pay attention to that one. (Says the OCD person who grinds too much.)

The fourth guy, another blonde woman, gives me a list of status effects I can be hit by. Most of these seem pretty standard... except Stop, which sounds like a real ass. I bet tough enemies will abuse it and make me hate them.

It seems like I'm done here! ... Though I didn't really get to steal anything, baw.

... Oh, whelp, I missed the treasure chests. Mistook 'em for background objects! (I proceed to swipe 100 G and a Tonic.)

Would you believe we're still not done? This seems so much longer when you're documenting everything...

Our next stop is the Truce Inn, which is also full of people. I'm just gonna talk to all of them.

Nothing really significant, though a guy mentions Silver Points and a Tent of Horrors, and paying the lady in the corner gets a pretty piano ditty. Better go check upstairs!

There's a guy here who mentions earthquakes, which is interesting.

And... aha, a box!

"This box has been in the family for generations.
Open it, and you may have what's inside!"

Sweet! So I try to open it...

... Whelp, shit.

Looks like we're out of stuff to do here for now (though you can bet I'm coming back later for that box). Time to go to Lucca's house!

Looks a little messy in here. But where's Lucca? In the back? I'll just rifle through all her possessions first, then - except she has none to rifle through. Whelp.

Going through the back door reveals the house is a lot larger than I expected. Stupid hammerspace houses! Lucca's not in her kitchen, so I exit it and start checking the rest of the house systemically.

To the left from the branching staircase is her bedroom, which is empty and has a back room that leads to a little alcove... which is also empty. Booooring.

To the right... a sitting room, with a blue-haired woman in it. I chat her up.

"LARA: Oh, hi Crono.
Lucca's off at Leene Square with her father, Taban, unveiling her new invention."

Well balls. All signs are pointing to Leene Square, so I guess that's where I'm headed next!

Leene Square is goddamn huge and full of wacky people, so I suspect I'll be here awhile. I immediately talk to the first person I see, because that's how I roll. He tells me to have fun.

So I waste a minute walking around with these guys.

I'll be damned if I don't know how to have fun.

There are several merchants in the area, all with crap I can't really afford yet but rabidly want to buy. This includes an answer to my question...

I guess it really is an item. Huh.

Anyway, enough lollygagging around. I'm gonna find Lucca and bust this joint!

I climb up the stairs and - suddenly girl!


"GIRL: Ouch, that hurt!"

No fucking kidding.

And then she tries to look for her pendant. WHICH IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. SERIOUSLY. HOW DOES SHE NOT SEE IT. I spend a few seconds standing there and staring until I realize I'm supposed to go get it for her, which I do. It apparently has "a lot of sentimental value", which is RPG code for "probably insanely powerful and can summon an Eldritch abomination along with a few dozen monsters and likely blowing up the moon too while it's at it".

I do the nice thing and give her the pendant back, as well as offer to let her walk around with me a bit.

... Oh, she gets named by me? "Marle", apparently. She must be an important character then! At the least, she joined my party.

May as well showcase her stats too, right?

As is expected, she's physically weaker than Crono but seems to have an edge defensively. She's also Water element, whatever the hell that means.

With Marle in tow, I start exploring the rest of the fair. I attempt to out-soda-guzzle (seriously, soda? I bet that's censored beer but why would it be in cans in 1000 A.D.?) some asshole but lose. ;; Only 7 cans... I can't buttonmash fast enough. Also there is a little girl who lost her cat... and a cat that's just around the corner!

... A cat that glitches out and gets stuck in the wall. O-Okay then. Trying that a second time.

Ah, second time's the charm. I successfully lead the cat back to the little girl!

Okay, I explore the path to the top-right of that area and -


Oh my god. Oh my god, the music.


... Okay, um. I'm done. I'm done. LMAO. I just... had no idea where that theme came from and... whelp.

Also, this doesn't really look too Jurassic. Not even late Cretaceous.

... Mooooving on.

Back to where Lucca's robot is -

... Lucca's singing robot...

(Anybody else thinking of Luka Megurine right now?)

Guess I'm gonna have to beat up the 'bot for some Silver Points.

(And it was at this point that I accidentally overwrote my state, forcing me to redo a good chunk of that last part. WHELP. Here's hoping nothing changed! (All I did was win the 5 Silver Points from the soda guzzling contest. Like a boss.))

I proceed to beat the crap out of the robot - though honestly, what is with this business of walking around mid-battle? What happened to me selecting "wait", game? - and continue into the next area. Looks like the pink bag of chicken respawns and works like a cure-all...


... Hmm.


Or not. The game is actually telling me to go to the north end of the square. Like a douche, I ignore it and try to buy some shit. I pick up two Bronze Helms, two Karate Gis, a few Tonics and a Revive, because I need to equip everything I see. 8|

... I really want that Lodestone Sword...

... Fuck it, I'm grinding for it even if it puts me a mile in the red. >8| (I have no idea how useful it is, but screw it.)

Magical Time-Skip Like an Hour in the Future!

Let's see what this did, shall we?

This is purely from fighting Gato. And I abused the bell, too, so that's actually not all points from Gato either. Ffffff.

But, I finally get to claim my reward!

Hell yeah.

... Watch as this achievement gets invalidated in the next area.


... ANYWAY. We still have a little more to do before finishing up this section, so sit tight! That whole "earn 4000 G by hitting a bell over and over" thing was a good distraction, but we still have a thing to go do now!

After selling my useless piece of crap Wood Sword for a pittance, I head back up toward the castle with Marle in tow. BUT JUST THEN - she interrupts with a pressing need for candy! I attempt to abscond without her but it doesn't work... so, whelp, have to sit there and wait until she "gets" her candy.

... Okay, moving on...

Oh, hi there Taban. Your invention's totally not going to backfire enormously when I jump in it, right? Right.

Except I never do jump in it, because somehow I manage to talk Marle into doing so first. Whelp!

This is never a good sign.

... And of course, Marle's pendant starts screwing the whole thing up. OF COURSE. /M. Bison

Of course, Crono - or rather I - volunteer to save her by hopping galantly into the Telepod.

... Yes? /shot

Lucca and Taban manage to short circuit the Telepod again - or at least, give it enough power to do the whole "random intergalactic rift" thing, and Crono gets sucked up into...

... the fucking trippiest void ever.

And he travels through it only to end up in...


... A forest. A really random forest.

How anti-climactic.

And here's where I will end Part 1 of this god-knows-how-long epic!

WHELP. I hope that was at least semi-entertaining for you all to read!

I would appreciate any kind of input on how I could do this better, too. More screenshots? Fewer? More shitty jokes? Fewer shitty jokes? Something else? Videos are kinda out of the question unless someone can suggest a really good screen-recording software...

Anyway, thanks everybody for reading, and I hope to see you guys again for Part 2! 83
athenalaureate: (002 -  Aren't you an amusing little one?)

[personal profile] athenalaureate 2012-05-24 04:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Leaving aside the expectations of opening sequences to make sense, I've enjoyed this a lot. I think it's perfect just the way you're doing it. And keep exploring everything you can, please, it will be fun.