talontrot: PM me if you want this to come down or know who made it! (okay very unsure now)
Kazooie ([personal profile] talontrot) wrote in [personal profile] goldenkirbichu 2012-02-28 06:11 am (UTC)

F-fff. I remember when I used to have standards where "more than 30 minutes" was too long. ;;

... No, no she is not. For... all the same reasons that would explain why she does not have me added on anything she has, yep (and removed me from the one place she did, lol. That was like... the nail in the I Obviously Don't Like You coffin). And those are reasons that, in some cases, even I don't really understand.

... I'm sure it's blatantly obvious to you, and possibly everybody else - in part because I say it all the time - but I have trouble understanding other people's intentions sometimes. It's not out of any... desire to be ignorant, or to make others angry, it's that half the time I'm guessing. So when people don't tell me what I did wrong, I'm not going to know what I did and I'm never going to fix it. This is why I tell people to be blunt with me - because that's the fastest way for me to figure out I screwed up.

And frankly, something like this - this, yes, clique-like scenario - is beyond me. I was never particularly good at understanding it when it came up in middle/high school and such other venues, and I don't understand it now that it's been upgraded to Adult Functioning World. I realize that RPing - or, really, any hobby that involves people who share interests and like each others' presences - will inevitably form into groups of people. But what's the difference between a group and a clique? And why is the latter so exclusionary? I don't really get it, and I don't know what I did to be left out of this one. I don't know why I'm, in effect, spoiling it for the rest of you guys. (I don't even like saying "you guys" because that seems to implicate you, as if you or anybody else involved - even obliquely - were deliberately like "nope, Golden, we don't want you here". But sometimes I wonder. D: )

... All I know is bits and pieces... whatever I can glean. And that's painfully little. :| And I don't even know if I'm assuming right! For all I could tell, the mun has no actual problem with me, but she certainly acts as if she does and has acted as such for months now, and doesn't seem to want to give me any opportunity to fix it.

... A few people know, yeah. But I don't think anybody noticed until I said anything. On some level, that honestly makes me sad... I don't expect white knighting or anything, but I guess I had hoped that my presence, my opinion, and my character[/s] were worth enough to others that they might at least realize something wrong was going on. But then this person is so liked that maybe it's hard to... see that...?

... /sigh. I might just be... petty, at this point. I confess, there was a recent thread on RPAnons about this mun and I was like "wow, other people actually noticed something for once". Which seems ridiculously pathetic of me but... sdhfhds. It's just... hard. D8 Especially with my own history at Luceti...

(Also, this isn't going to go anywhere. And if you'd rather it be even more private, PMs are always an option. o/`)

... /rolls Whelp, I just ended up dumping everything on you anyway. GO ME.


Yes. As for the whole exercise thing... sob. I do sorely need this. Really I just probably need to change my entire lifestyle but that's not going to happen in one day. :[ So I guess smaller things that I can do more easily - like stretches and exercise that doesn't require the world to implode for me to do them - would help... I'd appreciate advice, at the least, because I think we have similar body types if I'm remembering correctly.

Part of it is that exercise is honestly demotivating for me though. That's partially because it's so difficult in the first place, but it's like a negative feedback loop because I get frustrated and my response to frustration is "stop doing it". :|

<3 Not all of Canada is really cold! ... And not all the time. In the summer, you can get 40 degree Celsius temperatures in some places (that's 104 degrees Fahrenheit, about). Where I live though, it's generally a more comfortable 25 degrees C (77 degrees F) in the summer, which is good because excessive heat pwns me. :'D But I do recommend you try beaver tails! They are nomtastic. (Although maybe not actual beaver tails, those do not sound nearly as good.) Maybe one of these days I can summon you down here. \o/

... I do hope so, as well. It was... nice, like I said, though meeting people face to face is very foreign and will probably continue to be so. In some ways, I... genuinely prefer the Internet. :|; Easier, I guess? Or I've just been here longer.

/ramble ramble ramble

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