goldenkirbichu: (pic#2581530)
Golden ([personal profile] goldenkirbichu) wrote2012-02-26 11:56 pm

Wow, I'm really terrible at being consistent, aren't I?

... l-lol... What is with me and never writing about my life?

...

Oh yes, that's right. Because it's boring. That probably explains it!

8|

It's a pretty sad sack of existence when the most significant thing I did today was get Pokemon ROM patching to work properly. /facepalm... On the bright side, though, I did do something marginally fascinating recently, so I should probably say something about that before it becomes entirely irrelevant and too far in the past to be worth mentioning.

RIGHT. So let's get on that, shall we? /yea

... Rewind to two days ago, really, because something significant happened then. Wanna know what it is?

It's called... GOLDEN WENT OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE AND INTERACTED WITH OTHER HUMAN BEINGS WILLINGLY!!!!!

I know! It's such a shocking and rare occurrence that it's about equal to the idea of seeing the sky itself rend apart and a chorus of angels spiralling down flanking the Flying Spaghetti Monster carrying Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny singing a duet while the entire cast of the Care Bears backs the vocals up with an acapella rendition of "Don't Stop Believin'".

... In other words, it's the kind of insanity that happens once in a very rare occasion, namely because I never really have any reason to do it.

However this time was different, because I had - gasp - motivation, in the form of two Luceti-muns! Or... rather, in the form of a Luceti-mun and a mun-to-be: our very own Mon (the mun of the lovely Little Mac and Isaac) and PurePlum (the to-be mun of the equally-lovely Sabriel).

About a week and a half ago, Plum casually brought the idea of us meeting up in one of our Plurks - for the life of me I can't remember which - and I was immediately enthusiastic. As per my usual attitude for things, I tossed up a planning Plurk and started hashing stuff out for it right away.

... So I had a pretty good idea of what I was going to do relatively far in advance. The destinations were mostly going to be Plum's idea though, because - in all seriousness - I would have gone there simply to stand in a corner and talk for six hours. Social things are not my particular realm of expertise, as I'm sure you all can guess. I was just happy to think that someone actually wanted to willingly allow me to interact with zir. 8'D

Either way, some more backstory on this whole thing - Plum used to live in Toronto, which is pretty close to where I live, and is IRL friends with Mon - who also lives in Toronto (I guess that is kind of self-evident if they're IRL friends). However, Plum is in the process of moving for school, and thus she wanted to meet up with me before her move made that essentially impossible.

So there were multiple reasons to go - firstly because it's nice to have a break in routine for me (even if I get attached to my routines), secondly because it meant meeting awesome people face to face, and thirdly because it was a limited-time opportunity.

... Turns out my sibling was interested in coming with us too! So I asked Plum and Mon if this was alright with both of them, and it was. So far so good, right? Right. (Not that it ever gets particularly bad! Unless you count epic leg pain bad, but I'll get to that after. o/`)

There were difficulties with the day we'd picked - namely, that there were all these hand-flailing warnings about an epic snowstorm on that day (Friday to be specific; insert Rebecca Black jokes here). But as it was the only day that really worked, I wasn't particularly fazed, even if my parents were like OMGZ IT COULD BE REALLY BAD RECONSIDER!!

Either way, so on the day of the trip, I get up, derp around, try to get my stuff together, all of that.

Then I discover the horrible truth of the day - my winter coat is covered in cat hair. Noooo! Hereafter I spent about ten to fifteen minutes attempting to de-cat-hair the coat - time that really did not need to be wasted. This, combined with my sibling's failure to rouse herself at any decent time and our resultant scrambling around, meant that we ended up getting to the bus station... literally like a minute too late for our projected bus trip. 8| It was like the universe trollfacing at us.

It also meant that in my panic I forgot my paper with Plum and Mon's phone numbers on it. /sob Good thing for iPhones with 3G networks! Managed to retrieve them from the relevant planning Plurk, like a boss. Or rather, a pseudo-boss, since a boss would've already had the damn numbers on his person.

... So we had to wait another twenty minutes or so for the next bus to arrive. Herp! Oh well. It wasn't particularly bad, just a little cold... nothing we couldn't deal with. |D

We get on the bus then, and I call Plum - she doesn't pick up, so I leave a message on her answering machine, as is generally the polite thing to do (or so I've been told), explaining that we'll probably be late. Amusingly, she calls not even fifteen minutes later to tell us the exact same thing. 83 So no harm done in the end!

Anyway, sibling and I walked over to the station and stopped in front of our designated meeting area. Then we proceeded to stand there twiddling our thumbs, glancing around awkwardly and generally looking like people who only ventured out of their dark underground caves long enough to check if the sun still existed and hadn't spontaneously novaed last week.

That lasted for about a minute, during which we weren't sure if we should've called them and asked where they went or something... ... and then we turned around and they were pretty much right on the opposite side of the kiosk from us. DERP.

After that got straightened out, we headed off to our destination - that is, lunch. On the way there I mostly hung back with Mon; we did a lot of talking about RPing. (I estimate about 90% of the conversation was RP-centric or focused on our muses. We're awesome, clearly.) My sibling talked to Plum out in front~ o/` So nobody was left out!

Unfortunately for us, though, when we arrived at our lunch destination - which was a small Japanese restaurant - it turns out that there were too many people there to even seat us. In a way, while I was disappointed I wouldn't get to try ramen, I was also kind of glad because then I wouldn't make myself look like an idiot nearly so much. :|;

Anyway, we ended up going to a small Italian café that was right nearby instead, with the sophisticated and descriptive name of "John's Italian Café". Yep. However, the pizza that we ordered was actually deliciously-made, and so I can cut the place some slack for a silly name. <3

While (and after) we nommed, we discussed all sorts of things - everything from Sabriel's canon, to the perspective of intellectuals in Luceti, to whether PBs tend to make people more willing to tag characters, et cetera. At some points I felt like I was kind of dominating the conversation - I mean, I would've shut up if anybody wanted me to... D: I even asked if I was talking too much :|;;;; But, nobody seemed mad so I guess it was okay?

...

Either way, eventually we left, and headed to an outlet store that focuses on nerdy things, called the Silver Snail. owo For some reason I felt like I was in some kind of... geek temple, for lack of a better phrase - it was almost a little overwhelming, being in there, and I was afraid to touch anything. I know it's a little silly, but I'm not used to this kind of thing existing! |DDD; Either way, some of the statuary in there was genuinely beautifully-done... even if I couldn't help but notice the gender dichotomy, but when isn't it obvious in these things, l-lol...

... I also saw some TMNT comics. > > But I was too shy and nervous to attempt to purchase them.


Anyway, after we were done with that, Plum then directed us to another similar shop after we discovered the free XBox place (or so Plum described it) had been lost to some stupid clothing store nobody needed. 8[ For some reason I can't recall its name, but it was a much smaller store, dedicated more to anime and manga. Admittedly I recognized very few things in there, save the Pokemon and a few of the larger video game franchises, like Nintendo. I mostly amused myself trying to compare the characters in there to Lucetians. /even bigger nerd than usual

...

So after that we convened at the door and asked ourselves what we wanted to do. Mon decided she wanted ice cream. I echoed this idea in basically every way possible - so Plum's all "What about crépes?"

We were pretty much unanimous in our "Yay, crépes!"

... That required even more walking though. :| But crépes > non-painful leg muscles, so off we went! Eventually we did make it there and were ushered in by a nice waitress. :3

... We must've spent a good half an hour trying to figure out which crépes to pick. :|a But in the end, my sibling went with lemon and sugar, Plum went with dark chocolate and banana, Mon went with Nutella and hazelnut (with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side! \o/) and I went with Nutella and strawberry. Also with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. Like a boss.

As we sat, we started to doodle - and ended up spending about an hour or so just... sitting and drawing and talking together. It was kind of surreal, really. Not that the whole trip wasn't, for me, but that part was especially surreal - seeing Plum and Mon draw right there was pretty awesome, though. They're both amazing artists. 83 Kick my ass out of the water, lol. |D

I still have Mon's picture from then, on a piece of paper. :'>

Either way, the rest of our trip consisted of us walking back to Union Station - where sibling and I had to catch the ride back to our city. o/` Plum had to leave right away, but Mon stayed for about twenty more minutes to talk... unfortunately, much of that time was eaten up by an angry phone call from my dad, who demanded to know why we hadn't called back after an hour despite it taking a significant amount of time to walk to the station...

... Either way! I really enjoyed myself. While it was definitely... foreign, to talk to people in real life (is that sad, that it's been so long that I feel stranger talking to people's faces than I do typing to their usernames?), it was enjoyable and both Plum and Mon are great conversationalists. I only hope I didn't end up drowning their voices out accidentally by talking as much as I did. :'<

... So, that's my trip! Now as for the one crappy thing about it - LEG PAIN. I still can't walk without stiffness.

Yes, that says a lot about how sedentary my life is. It's a bit of a wake-up call, admittedly. I don't know if it's enough of one, though... I mean, that would require motivation and I don't have a lot of that...

... But it's just another excuse, really. An excuse not to do anything. :| I dunno if I should let myself be making those anymore. /rolls

Oh, that brings me into my next pile of blargh - RP failure.

I have no idea what to do with this scenario I'm in. It's obvious that I need to do something about it, but it's so complex and full of awkwardness on every level and I am so incompetent in dealing with things like this. Part of me wants to just keep on ignoring it, but that's not productive anymore, and things will just keep getting worse if I don't do something.

... So it means I have to do something. But... then apathy and anxiety sets in. D8

It doesn't help that the situation just sucks. The mun is friendly with basically everybody except me... the mun is popular and well-liked and not, as far as I can tell, inherently a bad person. The character of the mun is everywhere, involved with practically everything, and invested with much of Robert's close CR.

But... the mun dislikes me, or Robert, or something. The mun refuses to speak to me, refuses to acknowledge me unless forced, and blatantly leaves me out of things on purpose. The mun never told me what I did wrong, if in fact I did do something wrong - and I am assuming so, because of the rest of these things. The mun has deleted me from Plurk and thus closed me out of most major dialogue.

Wonder if this all makes the mun really obvious...

It is obvious the mun wants nothing to do with me... And yet this radio silence is making RPing very difficult and full of awkward and fail.

:|

... IDK what to do, really. Has anybody ever been in a similar situation? I don't really want asspats - I mean, this situation is probably just as much my fault, or there must be something on my end, IDK - but I am curious as to what you other guys might do.

... And I'm also curious if this means I'm... I dunno, doing something stupid and not noticing. Am I just somehow giving off "asshole" impressions? Or... IDK. /Kanye shrug

Well, that's all the interesting stuff I had to say. Sorry for being so absent, guys... I just forget I even have a personal DW some days because my life is so boring it's not worth writing about. 8[

/rolls away~
talontrot: PM me if you want this to come down or know who made it! (okay very unsure now)

F-fff. I remember when I used to have standards where "more than 30 minutes" was too long. ;;

[personal profile] talontrot 2012-02-28 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
... No, no she is not. For... all the same reasons that would explain why she does not have me added on anything she has, yep (and removed me from the one place she did, lol. That was like... the nail in the I Obviously Don't Like You coffin). And those are reasons that, in some cases, even I don't really understand.

... I'm sure it's blatantly obvious to you, and possibly everybody else - in part because I say it all the time - but I have trouble understanding other people's intentions sometimes. It's not out of any... desire to be ignorant, or to make others angry, it's that half the time I'm guessing. So when people don't tell me what I did wrong, I'm not going to know what I did and I'm never going to fix it. This is why I tell people to be blunt with me - because that's the fastest way for me to figure out I screwed up.

And frankly, something like this - this, yes, clique-like scenario - is beyond me. I was never particularly good at understanding it when it came up in middle/high school and such other venues, and I don't understand it now that it's been upgraded to Adult Functioning World. I realize that RPing - or, really, any hobby that involves people who share interests and like each others' presences - will inevitably form into groups of people. But what's the difference between a group and a clique? And why is the latter so exclusionary? I don't really get it, and I don't know what I did to be left out of this one. I don't know why I'm, in effect, spoiling it for the rest of you guys. (I don't even like saying "you guys" because that seems to implicate you, as if you or anybody else involved - even obliquely - were deliberately like "nope, Golden, we don't want you here". But sometimes I wonder. D: )

... All I know is bits and pieces... whatever I can glean. And that's painfully little. :| And I don't even know if I'm assuming right! For all I could tell, the mun has no actual problem with me, but she certainly acts as if she does and has acted as such for months now, and doesn't seem to want to give me any opportunity to fix it.

... A few people know, yeah. But I don't think anybody noticed until I said anything. On some level, that honestly makes me sad... I don't expect white knighting or anything, but I guess I had hoped that my presence, my opinion, and my character[/s] were worth enough to others that they might at least realize something wrong was going on. But then this person is so liked that maybe it's hard to... see that...?

... /sigh. I might just be... petty, at this point. I confess, there was a recent thread on RPAnons about this mun and I was like "wow, other people actually noticed something for once". Which seems ridiculously pathetic of me but... sdhfhds. It's just... hard. D8 Especially with my own history at Luceti...

(Also, this isn't going to go anywhere. And if you'd rather it be even more private, PMs are always an option. o/`)

... /rolls Whelp, I just ended up dumping everything on you anyway. GO ME.

Um.

Yes. As for the whole exercise thing... sob. I do sorely need this. Really I just probably need to change my entire lifestyle but that's not going to happen in one day. :[ So I guess smaller things that I can do more easily - like stretches and exercise that doesn't require the world to implode for me to do them - would help... I'd appreciate advice, at the least, because I think we have similar body types if I'm remembering correctly.

Part of it is that exercise is honestly demotivating for me though. That's partially because it's so difficult in the first place, but it's like a negative feedback loop because I get frustrated and my response to frustration is "stop doing it". :|

<3 Not all of Canada is really cold! ... And not all the time. In the summer, you can get 40 degree Celsius temperatures in some places (that's 104 degrees Fahrenheit, about). Where I live though, it's generally a more comfortable 25 degrees C (77 degrees F) in the summer, which is good because excessive heat pwns me. :'D But I do recommend you try beaver tails! They are nomtastic. (Although maybe not actual beaver tails, those do not sound nearly as good.) Maybe one of these days I can summon you down here. \o/

... I do hope so, as well. It was... nice, like I said, though meeting people face to face is very foreign and will probably continue to be so. In some ways, I... genuinely prefer the Internet. :|; Easier, I guess? Or I've just been here longer.

/ramble ramble ramble
hickumu: (Moko-chan)

1/2 - less fun stuff

[personal profile] hickumu 2012-02-28 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Now, to be fair, having someone friended on DW/LJ is a different kettle of fish than having them friended on plurk or AIM, since the means of communication and the usual subject matter are so different. Part of the reason I never friended you on the memes over the last while is that we seemed to have such different interests, I wasn't sure if we'd talk much anyway. It's only when I'm about to leave a game that I go on a mass friending spree - did the exact same thing the first time. I'm glad I did with you, if only because it is much easier for me to talk with you on DW. As you've probably noticed, I tend to TL;DR a lot myself. This way, we can't talk over one another.

And the sad thing is that several bad apples have ruined the bunch for you. A lot of people say that they have trouble reading social cues and whatnot - that's where the whole "ass burgers" joke came from - and want to learn to improve, but immediately go on the flaming defensive if their faux pauxs are pointed out. I don't doubt that you do have some genuine issues in that regard, largely because you remind me so much of an old real life friend of mine so much that I used to wonder if you were him, but that is the prevailing mentality nowadays.

You've just answered your own question - a clique is exclusionary, a group is not. I much prefer groups - that's what I always tried to pull together, between you and Naomi and Mon and Vyc and Aly and all the like. What I can say is that there's no need to implicate "the rest" of us. Vyc and Naomi don't have plurks, Levy hates this kind of thing just as much as you, and (while I don't know Sora as well) I seriously cannot see her participating in such a mentality. I haven't been on plurk in...months now. My difficulties are mostly in communicating with you - we have very different styles, in that regard - not with you as a person. And, like I said, the comment format of DW helps with that.

I also would not take anyone's reticence to "say anything" as a further bad sign against you. A lot of communication goes on in RP that we don't see - PMs and private plurks and the like. They're probably all assuming and hoping that you and her have talked things out like sane human beings. The alternative might lead to them having to pick sides - and, as fond as they probably are of both of you, picking sides is a brutal, bloody affair. This person is very social, not to mention a mod - it's hard to see if only because no one wants to see that kind of behavior in a person. Silence, in this case, might mean denial.

Some "pettiness" is to be expected when you've let your feelings stew as long as you seem to have. Honestly, there is scarcely a "right" or a "wrong" way to feel, especially if you're aware of it. I saw the thread as well. Neither of us should be reading rpanons, but there you go.

Unless you have noticed this kind of exclusionary behavior with other muns - and if you have with her, it would have to be pretty blatant - I wouldn't worry about your positions with them. Like I said, I think those that have noticed are hoping it's nothing, and hoping that it will get resolved by you two talking without them having to step in.
hickumu: (Headscratch)

2/2 - more fun stuff

[personal profile] hickumu 2012-02-28 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Changing your entire lifestyle would not happen in a day, no, and is not a good goal to set for the short term. And I totally understand negative feedback loops in that regard. It's part of why most of my conscious attempts to lose weight fail. Speaking of which, I don't actually remember if you've ever said what sort of body type you are. But I'm slightly taller than average, naturally heavyset, with short legs. My god, my short legs. Everyone passes me by on the streets.

All righty. *dusts off hands* Some easy stretches to start off with...

1. Stand up. Just, stand straight up. Then do a count, just an average pace like you would for a dance step - "1-2, 3-4". On "1", lift your leg (bending at the knee), so you're standing on one foot. Reach down with your hand to see if you can grab your ankle. On "2", set it down. Repeat on the other side with "3-4", and do for maybe fifteen to thirty seconds. This is actually a good stretch for easing out your thigh muscles, and it's great warm up.

2. A similar stretch, done from the same position, is kind of like walking in place, or I guess marching more accurately. Lift your leg like you're about to take a step with your knee really high. Keep to the same pace - lift on "1", set down on "2", lift the other leg on "3", set it down on "4", repeat. Also good for your thighs, knees, and hips. For an added stretch, try to touch your opposite elbow to your knee - that has the added benefit of working out your back.

3. Butterfly stretch. Everybody knows this one. Sit on the floor, bring the balls of your feet together, and pull them in to your body as close as you can. Try to touch your nose to your toes.

4. Straddle stretch - sit on the floor and spread your legs out like you're about to do a split, but, seriously, don't try to do a split. At my most flexible, I couldn't manage a split with this. Just try to keep your legs a little bit wider each day, but a sixty degree angle is perfectly legit to start with. Then just lean forward enough to try and touch your elbows to the floor, then lean over your right and left legs trying to grab your toes.

Honestly? If there are any dance classes in your area, I would heartily recommend them. I'm something of a dancing fool myself, and most of the work is in the legs or hips. It's going to sound utterly ridiculous, but I've yet to find a dance that's better for your body than middle eastern dancing...a.k.a belly dancing. If they have any idea what they're doing, they'll welcome any guys who participate. There's a yearly class at my birthday convention, and one time a three hundred pound dude in a kilt showed up. The teacher stopped the class to applaud him.

Mine is a life of temperature extremes - either the deep south, where we're known for our warm years, or up here in the midwest, where it's supposed to get frickin' cold (hasn't thus far). Maybe one day you can \o/. Or, hell, I could summon you down here and show off our local comic book shop. Fairly well stocked for such a tiny place. And I wouldn't let you leave without buying some TMNT comics!

The Internet is easier. Which doesn't necessarily make it better, but I do feel you there. I have so much less inclination or cause to panic over people on the Internet, and when I start I generally take it as a bad sign about my relationship with that person. People in general are just less stressful to me, and I'm much better at communicating and being straight with people. Even so, communicating with people face to face is a skill people do need to have, suckish as it is to say. So, keep at it!

/rambles rambles rambles
semper_cogitans: (*facepalm*)

And me missing this was due to fail and not noticing GMail's stuff

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2012-03-02 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
... you were not kidding when you said you had a tendency to tl;dr. /stares... But I like it. I like seeing all this laid out. :'D Just... give me awhile to try to organize this into some kind of coherent response...

To address your first reply:

Oh, yeah, that is definitely true; it's... not quite the same thing. But I figure the same rationales that keep me from attempting to friend that mun elsewhere applied to here - more or less. That being said, though, you definitely have a point - it's not a sign that someone doesn't like you if that person doesn't add you everywhere. It's just that this situation has various complicating factors that end up feeding into that. :|a

Wouldn't it be weird if I was your RL friend and had no idea?! /boggles ... No, it probably would be impossible. You would've had to have lived here before, and you haven't.

But. Asperger's is the Wikipedia self-diagnosis, which I think is where much of the disdain comes from - a lot of people use it as, frankly, excuses to be assholes without any remorse, which I don't want to do even if I do have something similar. (And I have no idea if I do or not.) I do hope that it doesn't seem like I'm being resentful of having my social faux pas pointed out though - I mean, I certainly appreciate the information when it's given to me.

Fffff, if I gave the impression of implicating anybody, then I apologize - I certainly don't think any of you guys would want to participate in this sort of clique mentality. None of you ever struck me as that kind of person. And the only person I've seen it from is... well... the singular mun. Everybody else just seems to kind of be involved-by-proxy (but not actually... doing anything themselves, i.e. not excluding me or anything like that).

And that much is probably true. I know that... well, more than one person here hasn't wanted to take sides. I don't really blame them, to be fair - I wouldn't want them to pick sides, either. But it just ends up being frustrating, because usually I can guess who's going to come out on the winning end. D8 ... Partially this is because I'm usually the one willing to take a fall, but eh. I just figure it's better for my self-esteem if I don't turn myself into the RP punching bag on other peoples' behalf, fff.

Not to say that compromise and sharing shouldn't happen. Ideally I'd want to share time with mutually-affected characters with this mun so everybody could be happy... or at least content. But that doesn't seem to be acceptable. D:

Herp. I suppose instead of yammering here I should be trying to talk to her. But I don't even know what to say...
semper_cogitans: (:|a)

Now I feel inadequate for not talking as much /shot

[personal profile] semper_cogitans 2012-03-02 08:49 am (UTC)(link)
Well, we've got some similarity - I'm shorter than average and have short legs, and am also naturally heavyset. :|; This ends up making me look even more awkward than if I'd been taller, but... l-lol. Looks are not something I have.

/quietly reads the stretches...

... Is it sad that I don't think I'd ever heard about any of those? /insert oh crap face here

One complication with some of those is that I don't have a lot of flexibility. Back when I was nine, I had a double hip surgery, and that... reduced my movement ability quite a bit. I mean, I'm sure that if I had been exercising more I would've kept more flexibility, but... l-lol, even at nine I didn't like exercising much, so that didn't happen.

... Hopefully I can do at least SOME of those without wanting to keel over, though.

Oh god, dancing. D8 Dancing is like, one of THE things I am anxious about and generally dislike doing. Especially when other people are around. ESPECIALLY when they're around and doing the same thing... So much anxiety and awkwardness and just. asdjhasjdhsk. (Anything similar, like yoga, also results in panic and self-hating shame. I pretty much burst into tears during a yoga class a year ago because I felt so incompetent since I couldn't do ANY of the stretches properly without pain.)

...

Herp. /flop

... Summoning me down there sounds interesting, assuming that ever becomes feasible in the future. :|a And I'd actually have a reason to get something...! :'D

...

I dunno. It's always hard for me to talk about the respective quality of interaction face-to-face versus interaction online, because... I honestly don't get much difference from the two. Short of being able to make physical contact, which is not that big a deal to me, there's really not a lot of difference beyond people being text-reliant here (and text is, weirdly, easier for me to glean meaning from - whether it be from the actual word choice, the spacing of text, the decision to use or not use punctuation, et cetera). At least not to me. I know a lot of people miss physical cues, but I don't always interpret them right anyway, so hey. :'D

... Either way, though. I always enjoy talking to people. Especially intelligent people like yourself. o/`

/rambles forever~