Profile

Y'know, I don't think I'm any more certain about how to describe myself than you readers are... but I guess I can try.

When you're the sort of person I am - the sort of weird, awkward, sits-at-the-edge-of-the-crowd-and-looks-inward person that I am - you spend a lot of time thinking about yourself. Or, at least, I did, because that's what I do - I analyze and think and mull things over. As a result, I would like to say I am fairly acquainted with myself and my various mental inner workings. I can't always describe them very well, but I certainly waste a lot of textual space trying.

I'm a rational thinker and a realist - perhaps with a touch of cynicism that comes from watching others on the receiving end of the worst parts of humanity for far too long. I'm a skeptic; I challenge anything and everything, I look for evidence for all that I say - and I enjoy the process of searching for that evidence. I adore science - it is basically the lynchpin of everything I do and to a large extent it is a part of my life - and has been ever since I was a little kid capable of conceptualizing what I wanted to do and be.

But I'm not immune to the beauty of the universe - far from it. I appreciate the varying kinds of loveliness that exist on our planet and in our universe as we know it - from the most massive blue supergiants to the tiniest, most delicate silica crystals. They're all beautiful - I just think that part of what makes them beautiful is that they're real, and they're describable, and they're understandable. Being able to comprehend things... that's truly what is incredible about being alive, to me. (You're welcome to get your own meaning from life, though - that's what life is all about in the first place.)

I'm eclectic; I don't act like other people most of the time. Hell if I know why - though my menagerie of mental quirks probably helps. I juggle depression and social anxiety and generally-bleh self-esteem, to name a few of the most obvious ones, but I'm not exactly looking for sympathy on those fronts... though if you catch me using less-than-flattering adjectives to describe myself, well, then that's probably why. Feel free to let me know about that if it's annoying.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't have much of a life outside the confines of the digital world. I'm never quite sure what that means - or whether it bothers me or not, to be frank - but it is the plain and simple truth, at least for the time being. A good seven years of my twenty-year-at-the-moment-life have been spent primarily on a computer, and sometimes it feels a lot more real than anything else does... interesting how things get skewed, right?

... I think I've blathered enough, for the moment. Hopefully that'll make things about me a little more apparent.